Friday, March 4, 2011

Out of the mouths of babes...

It has been so long since I blogged, I think I've forgotten how! Life just takes over sometimes, but my March new year resolution, is to get back into the swing of things again. This inspired me. I received this email from a friend of mine last night and just couldn't stop laughing! I have kept it anonymous to protect the 'innocent' :) but it is really very good. Enjoy. If you have any wonderful sayings that your little ones say, please feel free to add them!

So, it seems that my very old 5 year old, bless her soul, has taken to kissing boys –well, that’s what she says. All the boys in question have vehemently denied the claims, but that being said, it seems that she has a particular little boy in her sights!! A friend of mine's mom took my lg to a party when we were away and the girls were with Ouma and phoned in hysterics as soon as I got back with the following story:
“The kids were in the back of the car when:
My lg: I really rather like boys and that’s why I like to kiss them. Do you remember when I kissed you?
Friends lb: NO WAY MAN!! You’ve never kissed me!!
(giggle, giggle, giggle, from both parties).
My lg: You know when I first REALLY liked you? When you were wearing sunglasses!
Friends lb: But, I’m wearing sunglasses now (giggle, giggle)

I’m a little concerned!

Then we have a few episodes of what could be the beginning of a fairly decent soap opera OR of a series of visits to the child psychologist – you decide:
Episode 1:
I dropped my younger one at school last week and while I was there (with my older one milling around) one of the dad’s walked in to drop off a child. So, naturally, I smiled, said good morning and then left to drop my older one off. As soon as we were in the car ….
LG: “Mom, you really musn’t talk to the Dad’s”
Mom: Why?
LG: No Mom, you must IGNORE them
Mom: But that’s extremely rude!! Why should I ignore them?
LG: Well, if you talk to them, they might like you, then they might want to be your boyfriend and you’ll have babies!!

Ok, so this is 7h30 on a weekday morning after only ONE cup of coffee – needless to say, I was speechless (which has to be said does not happen often), but I laughed and changed the topic.

Episode 2:
Older LG had spent the afternoon at Ouma’s playing with one of the little boys that lives next door to Ouma (and also happens to be at her school). So Ouma tells me that the boy had come to her saying that my lg had just told him a VERY sad story about her parents. Obviously intrigued, Ouma asks what the story was about. Apparently hubby and I are getting a divorce because I have a boyfriend and am going to have a baby!! At this point my hubby goes to fetch the girls and is told by the same little boy that this is the fate that has befallen him. SO , he gets home and has a few questions to ask me.

So now its 19h30 on a weekday evening after only ONE glass of wine!!!!

Episode 3:
Ok, so now I need to tackle the issue – my lg has a friend who’s parents are going through a divorce, so I presume that’s where the intel is coming from. So I ask:
Mom: “Baby, who’s been talking to you about divorce, boyfriends and babies?”
LG: “mmmm, I think it was xxx and xxx. They know all about daddy’s and they know all about God”

So now I’m really confused. I know these two girls, their parents are most certainly not involved in divorce proceedings, but she has a point – they do know about God. But that has not really helped me work out what is going on in her little mind. So I try again:

Mom: Why do you think that Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce?
LG: (now quite tearful and upset)…. Because you don’t love each other
Mom: But why do you think we don’t love each other
LG: Because you never drink the same drink through two straws!!!!
Mom: huh???

So after a bit of explaining, it seems that the divorce is now off and I don’t have to drink beer from a straw!!

Younger LG:
She is SO close to swimming on her own, so in my wisdom decide to send her to swimming lessons. I took off work to take her to her first lesson which went rather well. Then came lesson 2,3, and 4, which I had other people take her to. From the feedback I was receiving, it seemed that the halo that had been shining brightly at the first lesson urgently required some brasso. Especially after telling the teacher : “I don’t WANT to swim here!!! I have a pool at home!” and then promptly got out of the water and refused to get back in.

But this is the SAME child that just melts my heart with her new trick (I have a strong suspicion I’m having my strings pulled, but I don’t care). She – out-of-the blue will yell “Mommy”, “Yes darling”, “Luff you” – how can you resist that!!

Then there is the saga with the night nappy. I am really trying to convince younger lg that she needs to get rid of the night nappy. But, every time I ask her when she’s going to sleep without a nappy the answer is MONDAY.

So this made my day, hope it put a smile on your face too!!!!! Thanks unnamed friend for the entertainment!