Thursday, May 5, 2011

Why being a mother is so awesome...

Make no mistake it can be challenging and difficult and incredibly emotional, but boy oh boy, it is one of the best things in the world. Have you ever loved a single person so much? Have you ever got so much back from a person? Have you ever had the same type of unconditional love back? Have you ever been on the verge of tears only to be hauled out of that into hysterical laughing? Have you smiled each day with love in your heart? Has anything made you so proud?

With it's ups and downs motherhood is just awesome...we are the rulers of the world (mothers of course!). As mothers day comes around, I think with sadness of my own mom who is not here anymore, but more than that I think how truly blessed I am to be able to be a mother and to have such an awesome bond with my little boy. Each journey that we take with our children, we learn something new and experience different emotions - it makes me feel quite rich.

This Mothers Day give yourself a pat on the back, feel good about yourself and most of all feel good about your child and give back...I know we do all the time, but give back to your hubby, to your mom, to your child and all that giving out will come back to you in big bounds!

Happy Mothers Day moms!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Best mom award?

And here is another of my weekly stories from one of my good friends...this is well worth a read!

I had one of those days yesterday where I had to think that maybe I was in fact not destined to go down in history at the ‘Greatest Mom on Earth’, but would actually be the mother that gets discussed by other mom’s at parties – and NOT in a good way!!!

It was 13h40, and had a b-day party scheduled for 14h00. I wasn’t concerned because the party is 10 minutes away. Then I heard it … “Steph, go and show mommy your beautiful hair!” my immediate reaction was basically ‘Oh dear what has she got stuck in it this time?”, but then Steph skipped into my room, most excited about the new hair CUT that she had patiently sat for – courtesy of big sister Julia!! Then I heard my optimistic self asking “Steph, that’s beautiful, did Julia put your hair in a pony?” (obviously completely over optimistic on my side) and then the words I had been hoping I would not hear “Nope, she cut it”. Needless to say I decided there wasn’t a heck of a lot to do but go to the party and explain that the rats had not been left in her room overnight, but her big sister had done a good deed.

So we get to the party and after a brief explanation and a few laughs (and a request for a rather large glass of wine) I settled in to enjoy the party with the rest of the moms (mostly new mom’s from the new school). But not long after the ice in my wine began to melt – there it was…. The b-day boy’s granny with the following words “I’m not sure who she belongs to, but I am wondering which mommy has been teaching her child rather bad habits!” . I’m not sure why, maybe mothering instinct if there is such a thing, but my immediate thought was “Cr@p, it’s one of mine!!” and sure enough there she was. My newly shorn Stephanie lifting her dress for all the boys to see, which would have been sort of ok except for the fact that MY child had deemed it necessary to remove her panties before the party (obviously unbeknownst to me!). That’s freakin fantastic!! It’s awesome when your kids make an effort to make you look good in front of people you’ve just met!! Well, I suppose at least the glitter nail polish that she’d painted her entire private’s with a few days earlier had worn off by then (another one of those ‘greatest mom’ moments).

So with the party over and the quiet self assurance that I would be spoken about at parties I wasn’t invited to – we were off to find a hairdresser open that could attempt to fix what was left of Steph’s hair. It so happened that the first salon I walked into, there was a lovely lady who was quite sympathetic and actually quite positive that not all was lost. So we sat down and in an attempt to keep Steph calm while the lady worked her magic, I (foolishly) took my eyes off Julia for a few minutes – that was until I heard the woman behind me say “What are you eating sweetie?”. There it was again… the little voice in my head saying “oh cr@p!!” I slowly turned around to see my little Julia eating the sugar from a sugar bowl on a carefully laid out tea tray – with the woman’s tea spoon!!!!!!!

At that point I think I had an epiphany – I was NEVER going to win the “Greatest Mom on Earth” title and may well end up in some sort of Heat magazine as the mother of…… - what a story , I look forward to reading it!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Motherhood: the rocky road to self discovery!

Once again it's been a while since I posted, but this household has been in chaos for some time. I've come to call our little family the lame, sick and just plain old tired. I don't mean this to be a negative article at all, but sometimes it helps just getting things off your chest and hearing other peoples views on life!
My hubby had an ankle op a couple of weeks ago, so things are a bit chaotic in terms of parenting and being nurse. Coupled with that my little boy started at a new school and it's been one hell of a rough ride.
To give context to my little boy, he is very bright, in terms of intelligence and language...apparently well beyond his years. This is apparently a problem at school as he gets bored and doesn't concentrate. More on that soon.
Since he started at the school I have seen a different child - I don't have a happy, carefree boy anymore, I have a child who is riddled with anxiety (he even has a stomach ulcer!), has lost his self-confidence and is generally very unhappy.
Apparently he is too serious and this is also a problem. Somewhere at some point personality needs to be taken into account.
But, anyway...after many telephone conversations and dealing every day with the comment of 'everyone at school hates me' has seriously taken it's toll on me and I suspect my little boy as well.
So off we are carting him to paediatricians - he is severely allergic to everything and now to psychologists as well to see where the anxieties lie. It is a very emotional journey to go on I have to say.
So all his medication has been changed to try and manage the allergies. Who knows what this will bring.
Now the psychologist, who I think is excellent by the way, has said that she really thinks he is ADHD. She has said that she needs more time with him, but it is looking this way. There are signs of ADHD no doubt, but there are also signs of a highly intelligent boy who has a very strong will and a very strong personality. Sometimes I wonder about the labelling of children, and the ability of teachers to cope with children who are more demanding and don't conform. Don't get me wrong here, I actually adore my little boys teacher, and chose the school specifically for the reason that they have small classes and I know the jobs they do are really, really difficult. In our class I know of 6 children (could be more) that have been referred to specialists.
During this process a mom goes through absolute hell! What have I done wrong??? I look at my little boy who is quite clearly distressed, and I'm trying my best but I can't take the pain away, I can't take his angst away, I can just be there for him and love him and support him. If it lands up that my little boy is ADHD, fine, but I don't want a zombie either, I don't want a child who is different and conforms to everything, I don't want a soldier. I want an individual and that's what he is! I would love to hear from other moms about their experiences of schools and referrals, ADHD and other issues. Please let me know your thoughts.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Out of the mouths of babes...

It has been so long since I blogged, I think I've forgotten how! Life just takes over sometimes, but my March new year resolution, is to get back into the swing of things again. This inspired me. I received this email from a friend of mine last night and just couldn't stop laughing! I have kept it anonymous to protect the 'innocent' :) but it is really very good. Enjoy. If you have any wonderful sayings that your little ones say, please feel free to add them!

So, it seems that my very old 5 year old, bless her soul, has taken to kissing boys –well, that’s what she says. All the boys in question have vehemently denied the claims, but that being said, it seems that she has a particular little boy in her sights!! A friend of mine's mom took my lg to a party when we were away and the girls were with Ouma and phoned in hysterics as soon as I got back with the following story:
“The kids were in the back of the car when:
My lg: I really rather like boys and that’s why I like to kiss them. Do you remember when I kissed you?
Friends lb: NO WAY MAN!! You’ve never kissed me!!
(giggle, giggle, giggle, from both parties).
My lg: You know when I first REALLY liked you? When you were wearing sunglasses!
Friends lb: But, I’m wearing sunglasses now (giggle, giggle)

I’m a little concerned!

Then we have a few episodes of what could be the beginning of a fairly decent soap opera OR of a series of visits to the child psychologist – you decide:
Episode 1:
I dropped my younger one at school last week and while I was there (with my older one milling around) one of the dad’s walked in to drop off a child. So, naturally, I smiled, said good morning and then left to drop my older one off. As soon as we were in the car ….
LG: “Mom, you really musn’t talk to the Dad’s”
Mom: Why?
LG: No Mom, you must IGNORE them
Mom: But that’s extremely rude!! Why should I ignore them?
LG: Well, if you talk to them, they might like you, then they might want to be your boyfriend and you’ll have babies!!

Ok, so this is 7h30 on a weekday morning after only ONE cup of coffee – needless to say, I was speechless (which has to be said does not happen often), but I laughed and changed the topic.

Episode 2:
Older LG had spent the afternoon at Ouma’s playing with one of the little boys that lives next door to Ouma (and also happens to be at her school). So Ouma tells me that the boy had come to her saying that my lg had just told him a VERY sad story about her parents. Obviously intrigued, Ouma asks what the story was about. Apparently hubby and I are getting a divorce because I have a boyfriend and am going to have a baby!! At this point my hubby goes to fetch the girls and is told by the same little boy that this is the fate that has befallen him. SO , he gets home and has a few questions to ask me.

So now its 19h30 on a weekday evening after only ONE glass of wine!!!!

Episode 3:
Ok, so now I need to tackle the issue – my lg has a friend who’s parents are going through a divorce, so I presume that’s where the intel is coming from. So I ask:
Mom: “Baby, who’s been talking to you about divorce, boyfriends and babies?”
LG: “mmmm, I think it was xxx and xxx. They know all about daddy’s and they know all about God”

So now I’m really confused. I know these two girls, their parents are most certainly not involved in divorce proceedings, but she has a point – they do know about God. But that has not really helped me work out what is going on in her little mind. So I try again:

Mom: Why do you think that Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce?
LG: (now quite tearful and upset)…. Because you don’t love each other
Mom: But why do you think we don’t love each other
LG: Because you never drink the same drink through two straws!!!!
Mom: huh???

So after a bit of explaining, it seems that the divorce is now off and I don’t have to drink beer from a straw!!

Younger LG:
She is SO close to swimming on her own, so in my wisdom decide to send her to swimming lessons. I took off work to take her to her first lesson which went rather well. Then came lesson 2,3, and 4, which I had other people take her to. From the feedback I was receiving, it seemed that the halo that had been shining brightly at the first lesson urgently required some brasso. Especially after telling the teacher : “I don’t WANT to swim here!!! I have a pool at home!” and then promptly got out of the water and refused to get back in.

But this is the SAME child that just melts my heart with her new trick (I have a strong suspicion I’m having my strings pulled, but I don’t care). She – out-of-the blue will yell “Mommy”, “Yes darling”, “Luff you” – how can you resist that!!

Then there is the saga with the night nappy. I am really trying to convince younger lg that she needs to get rid of the night nappy. But, every time I ask her when she’s going to sleep without a nappy the answer is MONDAY.

So this made my day, hope it put a smile on your face too!!!!! Thanks unnamed friend for the entertainment!