Sunday, April 10, 2011

Best mom award?

And here is another of my weekly stories from one of my good friends...this is well worth a read!

I had one of those days yesterday where I had to think that maybe I was in fact not destined to go down in history at the ‘Greatest Mom on Earth’, but would actually be the mother that gets discussed by other mom’s at parties – and NOT in a good way!!!

It was 13h40, and had a b-day party scheduled for 14h00. I wasn’t concerned because the party is 10 minutes away. Then I heard it … “Steph, go and show mommy your beautiful hair!” my immediate reaction was basically ‘Oh dear what has she got stuck in it this time?”, but then Steph skipped into my room, most excited about the new hair CUT that she had patiently sat for – courtesy of big sister Julia!! Then I heard my optimistic self asking “Steph, that’s beautiful, did Julia put your hair in a pony?” (obviously completely over optimistic on my side) and then the words I had been hoping I would not hear “Nope, she cut it”. Needless to say I decided there wasn’t a heck of a lot to do but go to the party and explain that the rats had not been left in her room overnight, but her big sister had done a good deed.

So we get to the party and after a brief explanation and a few laughs (and a request for a rather large glass of wine) I settled in to enjoy the party with the rest of the moms (mostly new mom’s from the new school). But not long after the ice in my wine began to melt – there it was…. The b-day boy’s granny with the following words “I’m not sure who she belongs to, but I am wondering which mommy has been teaching her child rather bad habits!” . I’m not sure why, maybe mothering instinct if there is such a thing, but my immediate thought was “Cr@p, it’s one of mine!!” and sure enough there she was. My newly shorn Stephanie lifting her dress for all the boys to see, which would have been sort of ok except for the fact that MY child had deemed it necessary to remove her panties before the party (obviously unbeknownst to me!). That’s freakin fantastic!! It’s awesome when your kids make an effort to make you look good in front of people you’ve just met!! Well, I suppose at least the glitter nail polish that she’d painted her entire private’s with a few days earlier had worn off by then (another one of those ‘greatest mom’ moments).

So with the party over and the quiet self assurance that I would be spoken about at parties I wasn’t invited to – we were off to find a hairdresser open that could attempt to fix what was left of Steph’s hair. It so happened that the first salon I walked into, there was a lovely lady who was quite sympathetic and actually quite positive that not all was lost. So we sat down and in an attempt to keep Steph calm while the lady worked her magic, I (foolishly) took my eyes off Julia for a few minutes – that was until I heard the woman behind me say “What are you eating sweetie?”. There it was again… the little voice in my head saying “oh cr@p!!” I slowly turned around to see my little Julia eating the sugar from a sugar bowl on a carefully laid out tea tray – with the woman’s tea spoon!!!!!!!

At that point I think I had an epiphany – I was NEVER going to win the “Greatest Mom on Earth” title and may well end up in some sort of Heat magazine as the mother of…… - what a story , I look forward to reading it!

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